


east is up

by themoongirl



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, basically i combined as many trench theories as i could and made a story, but i want everyone to be safe, dema, let me know if i need to add any more tags as i go i will try my best, tower of silence, trench
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-10-24 14:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17706278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themoongirl/pseuds/themoongirl
Summary: Dema is all he knows.Tyler Joseph has been in the city of Dema for as long as he remembers. He can’t remember a life before Vialism, before the bishops, before Nico. When a man by the name of Josh arrives in the city with a squad of Banditos, will Tyler find the strength to join him? Or is Nico’s hold on him too strong?





	1. don’t let me be gone

It’s all he knows.

Blurry faces, neon lights, red red red red. A room with a bed in the corner, a desk with his favourite possessions, the things that remind him of him.

Wake up, pace, church, go eat in a room full of strangers. Some left, some stayed, some had been here for years, but Tyler was the one who had been in Dema longest.

He couldn’t figure it out, how they managed to escape. Nicolas Bourbaki, the head of the nine bishops, liked Tyler most. Some would even call it obsessed. He went by Nico, and no one ever saw him without his red cloak and sheer mask pulled down, making his face appear blurry. The other eight bishops all appeared the same, but there was some aura around Nico that made it obvious he was the leader.

Tyler Joseph couldn’t remember a life before Dema.

-

_We are Banditos. ___

____

____

Tyler’s eyes shoot open, his heart racing. He looks around the room, but no one is there. Only him and the neon light in the middle of the room, his bed and a desk in the corner. He falls back onto the flat pillow, running a hand through his hair. The voice was all in his head.

He gets out of bed, pulling a grey shirt over his head. That’s all they provide here for him and everyone else. Grey. He runs a finger over his band tattoo wrapping around his arm and briefly wonders why the old him would have gotten it. He couldn’t remember who that Tyler was.

With a sigh, he pulls himself towards the door and out into the rest of the Tower. 

He walks to the church area every morning. It is required. He had learned the consequences of skipping this and he was not ready to do it again.

When he walks into the room he is greeted with blank stares from the other people currently residing in the Tower. With a quick glance he can tell he is last to arrive, so he takes a seat in the back row near Tommy, a boy of twelve. You could be any age in the Tower.

That’s when the nine bishops arrive, Nico leading the charge. Andre, Lisden, Keons, Reisdro, Sacarver, Nills, Vetomo, and Listo. All in red. All hard to see. 

Tyler stares blankly ahead as they passed him, each walking down the middle to the front of the church. He feels a chill, feels goosebumps rise on his arms and closes his eyes for a moment. When he opens them, he is ready to go somewhere else in his mind as he pretends to listen. He had heard their words too many times, seen their actions. Seen them worship the vials that held fake light, the brightness that was somehow so dark at the same time. 

“Vialism is all there is.”

They all watch as the Niners circle the neon light as they repeat the phrase back.

Vialism is all there is.

It was their way of making them all believe that seeking help, that feeling hope was impossible. That Dema, inside the world of Trench, was all there was. Tyler feels Tommy shift beside him.

“What if I don’t believe?” He whispers.

Tyler closes his eyes. “Then you’re a goner.”

Tyler sees Nico looking at him. Tyler stares back. Nico nods, and Tyler’s heart sinks. After all this time, Nico still holds the ultimate power over Tyler.

The bishops leave, and Tyler is immediately up and walking out of the church.

He roams around the Tower for a few hours before finally deciding to get something to eat. There are a few others in the kitchens, but he grabs a sandwich and retreats to his room. 

He eats. He paces. He looks out the window. His hands begin to shake. His hands start turning black, blacker than before, and he knows his neck is as well. Nico is coming.

Tyler’s door swings open, he doesn’t turn around. He knows who is there.

“Come.”

Tyler obeys.

He follows Nico down the circular hall, feeling in a familiar daze. They enter a room. Nico shuts the door as Tyler sits in the chair in the middle of the cold, grey room, the only light being the neon lamp in the corner.

Tyler curses his hands for still shaking. He wishes he could give into the fear, to accept it, but he wasn’t strong enough.

Nico stood in front of him, his hands behind his back.

“Vialism?” He speaks, his deep voice filling the room.

“Is all there is.” Tyler finishes, looking at the ground.

_Slap. ___

____

____

Tyler’s head swings to the side. He squeezes his eyes shut, then opens them to look up at Nico.

“You look at me when you speak.” Nico says.

Tyler nods.

“You have been here for quite some time,” Nico paces. “But that does not mean you get any less treatment than the others.”

“I understand.” Tyler says, deadpan.

“You have greatly improved since your first day,” Nico stares at Tyler. “But I will not lessen my treatment of you. There is still much for you to learn.”

“I understand.” Tyler repeated.

_Slap. ___

____

____

“Do you *understand* what you did wrong?” Nico asks calmly.

“No.”

_Slap. ___

____

____

“You are acting as if you have no brain, boy, do you understand what you did wrong?” 

“I repeated myself.” Tyler says, monotone.

“Good,” Nico disappears behind Tyler, and Tyler’s heart starts racing.

He feels the familiar feeling of cold metal as Nico is strapping a metal collar around his neck. After he is finished this, he is locking Tyler’s hands onto the arms of the chair and fitting two gloves onto his black hands. 

Tyler looks up at Nico, looking for any sign of a human behind those dark, red tinted eyes. 

Nico is then putting two earphones into Tyler’s ears, and that’s when Tyler knew it was about to start.

He had gone through this countless times, but nothing could ever prepare him for the pain that coursed through his throat and down to his hands when Nico initiated it. At the same time, a deep voice was in his ear repeating the words of Vialism, telling him that it was all there is and that he had no choice but to follow it and if he didn’t there would be consequences and pain pain pain, this is your life, this is what you follow, this is the only way.

He wasn’t allowed to scream, it would be much worse if he did. He could only gasp, but that made the pain in his throat increase.

This lasted for twenty minutes. By the end, Tyler couldn’t help the tears in his eyes and the sweat on his forehead. When the earphones were taken out and his hands and neck were free, he leaned his elbows on his knees and held his face in his hands, trying to stay sane.

“See you tomorrow.”

And Nico left the room.

His hands and neck burn for a bit, but the black begins to fade. It doesn’t vanish completely. It never does. Tyler wonders if it ever will.

As Tyler is walking back to his room, he has visions of black and white keys, and lyrics on a piece of paper. That’s all he allows himself to think about. Music is strictly forbidden in Dema, but it’s the last part of Tyler that he remembers about himself. So he allows himself to think of his hands over the keys, his voice singing something he cares about. Something he truly cares about, that he truly believes in. If Nico knew what Tyler was thinking... Tyler quickly shuts down the thought.

He stares out the window when he gets back to his room. He thinks about the name Tyler Joseph, and says it quietly to himself out loud until it doesn’t sound real anymore.

Welcome to Trench.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why hello there
> 
> so awhile back i wrote a fic called ‘Where Did We Go?’... and i decided to give it a reread a few days ago and quickly realized how much i miss writing but most importantly, how much i miss writing tyler and josh 
> 
> so here i am. it wasn’t hard to get inspired by trench and the city of dema. for those of you that are not familiar with all of the trench theories/canon, i will try my best to make it clear in this fic but don’t be shy in going and doing some research first. there are a ton of YouTube videos explaining the world of trench and oh my godddd, it’s fucking cool. the brain tyler has... he is just incredible.
> 
> so yeah, this fic is based in the world of trench and essentially tyler’s time in dema. of course i will probably add in my own twists and turns here and there because i can, so fasten your seatbelts lol
> 
> don’t give a writer a notes section because we will ramble. 
> 
> ALRIGHT HAPPY READING
> 
> (Comments/kudos inspire me like no other i am not ashamed to admit it)


	2. fear less

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That night he dreams of man with a yellow aura around him.

That night he dreams of man with a yellow aura around him. 

The man, and while there is something about him that radiates peace, has an undertone of despair that Tyler is quite familiar with. With brown hair, warm eyes, and a tattoo that covers his entire arm, he begins pacing back and forth. Tyler can’t see where he is, but it looks like a tent. 

Tyler feels a pang in his dreaming chest as the man pulls at his hair. He seems upset. More than upset. He seems like the yellow light around him is non existent, like to him, it’s red. Bishop red.

Just like that, the yellow fades. Tyler’s view begins to shake, as if the tent that the man is in is going to collapse. Like an earthquake. Tyler wants to call out to the man, tell him to run, but his vision is turning red. Red red red. He can barely see the man anymore, he’s disappearing fast as the red overpowers and-

Tyler shoots awake.

His entire body is soaked in sweat. He’s shaking, but luckily his hands and neck aren’t turning any more black. Nico isn’t near, Tyler reminds himself.

He leans against the wall that the bed is up against, trying to calm down. Tyler has no idea who the man in his dream was, or why he is dreaming of him, but curiosity overpowers him. He can’t go back to sleep.

Tyler checks the time on the dusty clock beside him. It reads 4am. 

-

He thinks about the man with the yellow aura as he paces the Dema grounds.

He thinks about him when he watches the Bishops perform their morning ritual.

He thinks about him while he eats, and he thinks about him when his hands begin to shake.

-

“You seem distant today,” Nico says with his back to Tyler, fiddling with the neon light in the corner.

Tyler’s wrists are tied to a rope hanging from the ceiling. His toes just barely touch the ground, strung up like an animal ready for slaughter. His mind however, is very far from here.

His dream had just felt so real, like he was in the room watching the man but unable to say anything. Was it real? If so, where was he? Why did he look so conflicted? It all felt too close to home.

Tyler didn’t even register that Nico was in front of him until he feels the punch to his stomach. Tyler coughs, his eyes coming back to focus on Nico’s face. 

“Mmm yes, definitely distant.” Nico says.

He grabs Tyler’s chin and comes in close. Tyler’s breathing picks up, Nico’s eyes far too close to his own. 

“What’s gotten into you, boy?” 

Tyler swallows, trying to think of an appropriate response. “I just, I didn’t sleep well.”

If Tyler’s hands weren’t tied above his head, he would have face palmed himself. 

Nico keeps staring at him. “I will give you one more chance to tell me the truth.”

Tyler can feel his legs shaking, and he almost tells Nico about his dream, but something stops him. The man in his dream’s face comes into focus in his head. And then Tyler realizes, he doesn’t want Nico to know about the man. He doesn’t want the man anywhere in Nico’s thoughts. Tyler usually told Nico everything. He had been here too long, endured too many beatings to know the consequences not being compliant.

But this, this felt different.

Tyler exhales. “I’m really just tired, sir. Nightmare.”

Nico’s eyes narrow, his grip on Tyler’s chin increasing. “Nightmare about what?”

Tyler keeps the eye contact. “About life beyond this.”

Nico breaks the eye contact for a brief second to scan Tyler’s face. And Tyler really does think he’s going to get away with it, thinks he sounded believable.

Until, “I don’t believe you.”

Tyler squeezes his eyes shut, knowing what’s about to come.

It starts with a beating. His stomach getting the worst of it, each breath getting harder to inhale. All he can do is hang there and take it, too prideful to tell Nico to stop. It wouldn’t do anything anyway. After two punches to the face, Tyler thinks it’s over, and then-

“Oh Tyler, will you ever learn?”

Tyler looks up to see Nico holding a stick of Neon light with a light bulb on the end of it. Tyler’s eyes once again betray him, beginning to well up.

Nico presses the bulb, scorching in heat, to Tyler’s tied hands. 

And Tyler screams before everything disappears around him.

-

Tyler is dreaming again, and the man is back, except this time he is wearing a jacket with yellow tape on it. He’s sitting on a log outside, a torch of... fire, real fire, beside him. Dream Tyler can’t help but focus on it for a second before looking back at the man’s face.

Except, his face is covered by his hands. He’s holding his head like something is troubling him deeply. Tyler wants so badly to reach out to him and ask what his name is, demand to know who he is, but Tyler is frozen.

Someone else walks up to the man. A girl with purple hair. 

“We’ll figure this out, Josh,” She says, resting a hand on his shoulder. She squeezes. 

He looks up at her. “I know.” But Tyler can hear the uncertainty in his voice.

“We will.” Purple haired girl says before walking away.

‘Josh’ sighs. 

The world starts shaking again, and then- 

-

When Tyler finally comes to, he’s on the floor in the same room as before, except Nico is gone. The only light is coming from the Neon lamp in the corner. Tyler shudders, remembering the pain in his hands.

He rolls onto his back, too scared to inspect the damage just yet.

“Josh...” He whispers to himself, curiosity becoming him once again.

Were these dreams even relevant? Were they real, or was he just becoming more insane than he already is? And what did the purple haired girl mean when she said they would “figure this out”?

And- ow.

He forces himself to sit up, his ribs screaming at him. He lifts up his shirt to see his stomach and chest already riddled with bruises, but nothing appears to be broken. Then he notices his hands.

Luckily the palms seemed to have been avoided, but the backs are completely burnt. Tyler has to tear his eyes away from them to avoid an oncoming panic attack. Too close. Any worse and he may not have been able to play-

He stops himself from thinking of the black and white keys, and instead stands up to stretch. It’s painful, but he knows he’ll recover. He tries the door. Locked, of course.

Tyler paces the room for the remainder of the day, ignoring the grumbling in his stomach. He whispers his own name, but this time he adds Josh next to it. Tyler... Josh. Tyler Joseph... Josh.

For some reason, it helps. Tyler still doesn’t know if Josh is a real person or just someone he made up in his head, but for now, just knowing he’s there... in some shape, way or form, is enough.

So when Nico comes to let Tyler out of the room, Tyler walks out with his chin up. Because for now, for some odd reason that his dream has created, he doesn’t feel alone.

And that is enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- hello welcome to chapter 2  
> \- i don’t really have anything to say except it’s gonna get more interesting once you know who actually shows up (and i don’t mean Voldemort)  
> \- happy reading!


	3. they want to make you forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fire.
> 
> And Tyler is ice.

The next week isn’t great, but Josh is in Tyler’s dreams every night.

So, in hindsight of his life here, it was a better week than usual.

Tyler returns to his room after his session with Nico, head pounding and eyes heavy, when he hears a loud noise coming from outside the window. 

It’s a bird. A huge one. A vulture. It’s sitting on a window ledge on the building across from him.

It’s staring at Tyler. It’s big, beady eyes burning a hole through Tyler’s skull. He stares back. This was new.

The bird does a head tilt, and Tyler scrunches his eyebrows together in unknowing. The bird begins flapping it’s wings, looking impatient, it’s head moving back and forth back and forth. Tyler recognizes this as beckoning. The bird wants Tyler to follow him.

Tyler can’t tell if this is some new trick by Nico, or if it was quite literally nothing, but Tyler had never seen anything like this in Dema. It couldn’t be nothing.

So Tyler went racing out of his room.

The hallways are practically empty, so Tyler has no problem getting outside quick. But once he’s out there; nothing.

No bird. No sounds. Nothing.

Tyler walks around for a bit, his head looking up, trying to find any sign of life. There’s not even another person out here, Tyler thinks to himself.

Just when he’s about to give up, he sees it.

Fire.

And Tyler is ice.

He can’t move. The sight of it itself is enough to have Tyler glued to his feet. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen something so beautiful, so vibrant and real. It moves with the night, a silent crackle of life and overpowering heat. Tyler wants to move closer to it, until he realizes that it’s moving towards him.

Torches.

Maybe ten.

The people holding them are hard to see. Each wearing a jacket with yellow tape attached to it, they also have bandanas pulled up to cover their mouths and noses. Their eyes are the only thing showing.

They stop. Five in front of Tyler, five behind him.

What is this?

He looks back in front of him, and one man is separating himself from the others to step in front of Tyler. Tyler takes a second to stare at the prepossessing fire, but then his eyes find the man’s.

It’s Josh.

Tyler knows it immediately.

Josh removes his bandana, revealing a slight smile on his face.

“You’re coming with us,” Josh says. “We’re here to get you out.”

Tyler stares. “I know you.”

That wipes the smile off of Josh’s face. “How do you-“

“Hey,” A woman’s voice comes from behind Tyler. “I hate to do this but we got to move. We don’t have a lot of time.”

Tyler and Josh are still staring at each other, neither looking back at the voice. Tyler goes to speak, but then-

His hands start shaking. Tyler doesn’t have to look to know they are turning black. 

Nico is near. 

Josh’s eyes find Tyler’s neck, and then he snaps back into leader-mode.

“Alright,” Josh waves at the others. “Start moving, we’ll be right behind you.”

The others start moving, and now there is less light with just Josh’s torch light surrounding them.

“Look, we don’t have time clearly,” Josh says fast. “But if you know me, can that be enough for you to trust me?”

Tyler feels fear hitting every bone in his body, his chest taking the biggest hit. He thinks of Nico, thinks about how angry he would be just to know Tyler was outside talking to these people. He thinks about all of the times in the past he rebelled, and the consequences that came with it. He wants to run. Wants to run back to his room and fall asleep and dream of a safer Josh, a Josh that he could watch from afar and not risk consequence.

But that wasn’t reality. Clearly. Reality was terrifying, and soul crushing, and taking risks that could change your life.

So Tyler looks at Josh, remembers the yellow aura he saw around the man in his dreams, and he lets that carry him.

Tyler nods.

And then he is running with Josh to the east tunnel.

The next part happens very fast. As Josh and Tyler join the others, they force a jacket onto him. Others are taping the yellow tape to his new jacket, one strip on each shoulder. He obeys without question.

Tyler’s on autopilot. He can’t quite believe he is leaving the city, running from Nico, but this is also the first time in a very, very long time that Tyler feels a sense of who he used to be. Someone who looked at Dema and didn’t see it as an end, but a mountain. Something he could endure until he figured out how to leave. 

Somewhere along the line, Tyler lost that part of himself. Nico was good. Nico knew Tyler’s insecurities, the things to break him, and Nico knew them well. 

But now?

As they walk out of the east tunnel and into the... the sun, the big ball of real fire in the sky, rising to signify morning, Tyler can’t help but stare at it. The flame burns his eyes. He looks away and his eyes find Josh. Would Tyler have left Dema if it wasn’t for Josh? Would he have trusted anyone else but the man he saw in his dreams?

“Tyler, welcome to the Bandito camp.”

Tyler had been so lost in his thoughts he hadn’t realized they were standing in front of a huge camp base. Hundreds of tents, torches, and people spread out across the area. 

All with similar tape on their jackets, bandanas, and a fighting look in their eye, Tyler found it all very overwhelming. He kept following Josh as they walk deeper into the camp. Tyler catches the eye of another vulture, and he could swear this one winks at him.

“Here, have a seat,” Josh says, waving to a log in front of a campfire. 

Tyler sits. He can feel the warmth of the fire on his face, and he reaches his hands out as well. His heart beats faster, the flame warming his insides. It feels so nice.

Josh is looking at Tyler’s burnt hands with a sad look in his eye. Tyler puts them back in his lap.

Josh clears his throat as he sits down on the log beside Tyler. “You said you know me.”

Tyler finds his eyes, not quite sure what to tell him. Because isn’t that crazy? To tell someone that he was dreaming of him every night? Where does he start?

“Look,” Josh sighs. “I’m gonna need some answers.”

Josh has this look on his face like he’s desperate for it, his eyes burning a hole through Tyler. Tyler feels vulnerable for a second, and it throws him off a bit, not quite understanding.

“Not trying to be rude, but so am I,” Tyler says quietly.

Josh sighs, looking around the camp. “This is the Bandito camp. Home base. A safe place. Everyone here once resided in Dema.”

Tyler’s eyes widen. “Everyone? Even you?”

Josh nods. “Even me.”

That’s surprising. Tyler can’t imagine Josh in Dema, in a room with Nico or any of the bishops for that matter. Well, it’s not that he can’t imagine it, it’s that he doesn’t want to.

“I’ve never seen you,” Tyler looks at Josh. “In Dema, I mean.”

Josh stares into the fire, looking like he’s trying to hide disappointment. “That’s... not surprising. You just don’t remember.”

“What do you mean-“ Tyler begins.

“Josh!”

Tyler and Josh turn their heads to see a woman with purple hair standing above them. Tyler recognizes her from his dream.

“We need a little help over here, could you-“

“I’m a little busy-“ Josh looks at Tyler.

“It’ll be quick,” She says, her eyes finding Tyler. “I’m Haley. Welcome Tyler.”

Tyler nods in recognition, looking back at Josh.

“When I get back, it’s your turn to give me answers,” Josh offers a small smile, and then he’s walking away with Haley.

Tyler is left to sit by himself at the campfire. The sun is almost fully in the air, and Tyler feels everything but ease. What did Josh mean Tyler doesn’t remember? Tyler would remember Josh in Dema. He had been in Dema himself too long, had seen people come and go all the time. He would remember Josh, wouldn’t he?

The camp is in a hustle, everyone going about their business. Tyler overhears someone saying they were ready to nap after that “night mission”. Tyler wonders how many missions they do a week, how many times the Banditos had been in Dema and Tyler had missed them.

A few of them stare at Tyler as they walk past the fire, some quickly avert their eyes while others smile at him. Tyler feels incredibly out of place. He wants Josh to come back, at least then he has someone to talk to.

His heart starts beating faster, the anxiety becoming more and more prevalent. 

He can’t help the shaking in his hands.

Oh wait.

He looks down. No no no, he thinks. God, not now. That’s now possible.

But it is, apparently. The black is spreading. Slowly, but it’s spreading. He puts his head in his black hands, trying to calm down. Nico can’t be near. He’s safe. Josh said he was safe. There’s so many people around, there’s no way the bishops-

Tyler doesn’t feel good. This is wrong. This is very, very wrong. 

_Tyler. ___

____

____

The whisper makes him jump. No.

_Time to come home Tyler. ___

____

____

Tyler is about to jump up, to run, when he feels two freezing cold hands grasp his throat. He is pulled backwards and then-

He’s being dragged through the dirt by his neck. He can’t move. He can only let himself be hauled away from the camp, from Josh, his body dead weight. Only one thought is on his mind.

He knew it was too good to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- happy reading


	4. cut my lip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This is what I get for trusting you.”

The beating Tyler gets for escaping is the worst he’s had in ages, and Tyler briefly worries Nico is going to kill him. He stops though, when Tyler is barely moving on the floor and blood is dripping from his face. 

The worst part is that Nico doesn’t say anything. The silent disappointment is somehow worse than anything else. More terrifying. More crushing.

Nico only speaks after standing over Tyler for a few seconds, Tyler curling in on himself. 

“You are going to wear this until I take it off, you understand me?” Nico says as he attaches the metal collar onto Tyler’s neck. “If you disobey... I don’t think I need to tell you what will happen.”

Tyler nods weakly. “Yes, sir.” He’s too tired to fight.

Nico snaps his fingers, and the collar is buzzing to life, sending shock waves that makes the black on Tyler’s neck react. Tyler gasps, turning his face towards the floor and curling in on himself even more.

When the buzzing stops, Nico nudges Tyler with his foot. “Get out of my sight.”

Tyler has to use every last bit of energy to pull himself up and limp out of the room. He keeps moving, his body on autopilot as he envisions his bed. He gets a few looks from people as they pass him, but he keeps staring ahead. Make it the the room.

When he finally does he collapses onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Josh’s face comes to mind, and the feelings of hope and wonderment were now completely replaced with anger and a little despair. Josh was hope. Hope of getting out of here, hope of a life beyond this. Hope of getting better and belonging somewhere and being on the other side. Tyler thought he was safe at the Bandito camp. That’s what they told him. They said he would be safe, that they were getting him out, but Tyler ended right back where he was. Nico was able to get to him so easily, it crushed all remaining hope Tyler had. Because if Nico could get to him at a place surrounded by others who had escaped, then that made Tyler feel overwhelming hopelessness. 

He was never getting out of here. Why would Josh risk another rescue attempt on someone so easily captured? At their own base? Why risk rescuing Tyler, when there were so many others clearly easier to get out?

Tyler lays there for a very long time, fighting off his brain. He feels his eyes getting droopy, feels sleep coming and then-

The collar is buzzing to life. 

Tyler has to cover his mouth with his hand to avoid screaming. The pain was so unexpected and that makes it so much worse. It lasts for a minute tops, but Tyler lays there with his bed sheets scrunched in his fist for awhile after for fear of it happening again.

And it does, all night. Every time Tyler falls asleep he is woken up to the pain in his neck. This was the punishment for escaping it would seem.

Tyler barely sleeps. When 6am comes around he is almost glad because it was agonizing laying there, waiting. There was no point. 

His body screams at him when he gets out of bed and pulls on a grey shirt. His entire chest is riddled with bruises that stem down to his legs. His arms have fingerprint bruises, and he has a black eye and a cut lip. Everyone is going to know he tried to escape.

Tyler can’t find it in him to care. Let them think what they want.

He makes it to the church pretty early, only a few others in there. Tyler sits at the back, avoiding eye contact with all of the curious eyes staring at him. He stays staring at the back of the seat in front of him until the room goes quiet and Tyler knows the Bishops are arriving. He finally looks up.

Tyler stares ahead as the Bishops perform their usual morning service. All of the backs of heads in front of him are pointed in the same direction, so Tyler’s peripherals find the odd one out.

The odd one out staring at Tyler.

The odd one out being... Josh.

Tyler feels his entire insides turn to ice, but he can’t look away. Josh stares at him, a look of knowing, and Tyler stares back before Josh turns away. Probably for fear of the Bishops noticing.

Tyler has to inhale sharply and force his eyes away to avoid making anything obvious. He digs his fingernails into his palms to ground him and stop him from running over to Josh and demanding to know why he was here, how he could be here, and make him run. Josh didn’t belong in a place like this. This wasn’t right.

Tyler can only breathe properly when the service comes to an end and Josh is standing up and walking out without even a glance in Tyler’s direction. Tyler’s eyes follow him. Nico is leaving the room with the other Bishops, also not looking at Tyler, so Tyler makes a beeline after Josh. 

Josh is keeping pace in the hallway, not slowing down and not glancing behind him. Tyler wants to call out to him, but he also doesn’t want to draw attention, so he just follows a good distance behind. 

Josh finally stops walking when they get to the east tunnel. Tyler half expects Josh to keep walking, to leave, but he stops and leans against the wall. They’re alone.

And Tyler suddenly feels angry.

He grabs Josh’s shoulder and pushes him harder against the wall. Josh is a little taller than him, but barely. Josh stares at Tyler, not afraid, but with a fierce look in his eyes.

“What are you doing here?” Tyler demands, pushing himself off of Josh and standing back. 

“I...” Josh’s eyes squint, with a hint of confusion. “What do you mean?”

That makes Tyler even more angry. “What do I mean? I mean what are you doing here? I thought you were the damn head of the Bandito camp, how are you here?”

Josh’s eyes widen, but he looks like he’s trying to control his expression. “You... you remember?”

Tyler crosses his arms. “Yes?”

“You’re not supposed to.”

“What are you talking about?”

“When you come here, you’re supposed to forget ever being out.”

Tyler goes silent, unsure of what he is being told. Tyler knows he’s not supposed to remember a life beyond this, but having ever escaped? Of being in Trench? He didn’t know that was part of it.

“But... you remember,” Tyler mentions. “How is that then?”

“I... I don’t know,” Josh stares at Tyler. 

Tyler doesn’t know what any of this means, but if they both remember, that means Josh remembers telling Tyler that he would be safe, and that ignites the anger in him once again. 

But before he can speak, Josh is eyeing Tyler’s collar. “What’s that?”

Tyler looks at Josh and adds venom to his words. “This is what I get for trusting you.”

Josh flinches, a look of pain in his eyes that almost makes Tyler feel bad. Almost.

“I’m sorry,” Josh says sincerely. “I didn’t... I didn’t think that would happen.”

“Didn’t think Nico would find me, or didn’t think I would be punished?”

“Both or- the first one or-“ Josh stutters. “Look, the Bishops, they know how this all works. When anyone is brought back here after previously escaping, they know we forget ever leaving. So I thought that if the worst happened and you were captured again, Nico would treat you like always because you’re not supposed to remember. But, I guess he punished you more because he was angry.”

Tyler leans back against the wall across from Josh. He still felt angry, probably from lack of sleep and the collar, but what Josh was saying was making sense. 

“Did you give Nico any indication that you remember the escape?” Josh asks.

Tyler feels a strike of fear in his throat. He thinks back to yesterday’s torture, but comes up short. Nico had been practically silent, and Tyler was in too much pain to say anything.

Tyler shakes his head. “Nothing was said.”

“Good,” Josh looks relieved. “Keep it that way.”

“I still don’t understand why we can remember,” Tyler says. “How is that possible?”

“When we initially came to rescue you, you said you know me...” Josh averts his gaze. 

Tyler shrugs. “You were in my dreams. Pacing, talking to someone with purple hair, small things like that.”

Josh stares off into space. “I see.”

Tyler snaps a finger in his face. “Do you know me?”

Josh is quiet for a while, still not looking at Tyler. Tyler scans his face, his slightly crooked nose, his dark circles, his worried expression. Josh had been so much more in Tyler’s dreams. Now... now Tyler just wants to shake Josh and demand to know why he couldn’t have succeeded, why he ended up here, but Josh seems distant.

“Only from the rescue.”

“No dreams?”

“... maybe once, I can’t be sure.”

Tyler crosses his arms. “How can’t you be sure?”

“I’m always having weird dreams, I don’t know.”

Tyler rolls his eyes. “You can be frustrating, you know that?”

Josh surprises Tyler by smiling. “I do.”

“You don’t find it weird that I was dreaming of you?” Tyler asks.

Josh shrugs. “Weirder things have happened.”

“I know, but-“

Tyler cuts himself off as soon as he feels the pain in his neck again. He reaches for his head, groaning and sliding back down the wall. Josh is beside him in a second, crouching down next to him. Tyler buries his face in his hands, waiting for it to pass, gritting his teeth and pulling his hair between his fingers. 

When it finally passes, he closes his eyes and lifts his head, leaning it against the wall and focusing on breathing. 

“C’mon,” Josh stands up. “Let’s get some food and go back to my room.”

Tyler looks up at him. Lack of trust aside, Josh hadn’t been anything other than nice since he got here. But Tyler is weary, and worried, and afraid of Nico seeing something he doesn’t like. Regardless, going to get food and talking to other residents in the Tower wasn’t forbidden, and quite frankly Tyler is sick of obeying every rule. 

When he had escaped with the Banditos, that brief period of time sparked a feeling of the old Tyler, and he wants that again. He wants to remember who he was before Dema, before Nico, before Vialism. He wants it so badly, and Josh was the first to show that to him.

So he gets up, and he follows Josh further and further away from the east tunnel and back into the Tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, more coming soon!
> 
> happy reading :)


End file.
